To get fluent, you have to get comfortable with discomfort. | how to become fluent in a language
Communication is fluid and flexible. As much as grammar and language rules also play a large part in clear communication — speaking especially is inherently chaotic. We mix, flip, alter, add, smash and remix language on a daily basis and we will likely continue to do so for generations to come.
Considering that communication is so fluid and free, a listener will hear multitudes of unfamiliar vocabulary, phrasing, idioms, tones and usages every day. Not to mention when interacting with the official sets of subject-specific jargon that exists already in the language.
As a second language learner, it can be extremely daunting to jump into this space of chaos and many try their best to stay away from it for as long as they can. We comfort ourselves by thinking, “eventually I’ll just be more used to it” but the day never comes. Our image of advanced and fluent depicts one who has seen it all, heard it all and knows all the vocabulary for it all. It takes some people years before they arrive at the bittersweet truth that fluent doesn’t mean knowing it all, and even if it did — you’d never reach it.
“Eventually I’ll get used to this…”
“One day, I’ll be fluent”
The true mark of fluency is the ability for an individual to navigate themselves in any real-life situation in that language. That means that can face words they don’t know with elegance, and they aren’t deterred by the whirlwinds of modern conversation.
Yes — they have mastered being comfortable with discomfort!
Developing Language Soft Skills
Language soft skills refer to the set of skills outside of the hard sets of knowledge we’re required to memorise and know in a language. It includes things like cultural intelligence, cultural references, the ability to read tone, and yes — being comfortable with discomfort.
These skills don’t automatically happen while you study with your textbook. There won’t be a day that you just wake up and everything you learnt clicks together and forms a well-rounded fluency.
Rather, just like hard skills, language soft skills must be trained over long periods of exposure and experience. That means you have to put yourself in situations of discomfort until you no longer feel uncomfortable. Doing things like:
- Reading high above your reading level (intensive reading)
- Reading at your reading level without looking up words (extensive reading)
- Having conversations with people
- Pushing yourself to explain things without having all the “right” words and phrases
- Watching movies without subtitles even if you don’t understand much
When you’re able to do things that make you feel uncomfortable more consistently in a language is when you’ll see the most growth.
Rae is a language coach and community leader with Gladly Global, a language space committed to self-learning language nerds. Get in touch :)
